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1. Soft Drink/Beer Ratio
In the absence of distorting government taxes, a single-serving container of beer costs the same to produce as a soft drink. In an ideal world, the consumer would pay the same and the ratio would be a perfect 1:1. In less civilized places, alcohol consumption is regarded as somewhat morally reprehensible and is discouraged through sin taxes. Since such places are likely to have a raft of other restrictions on fun, this index is a good indicator of overall levels of joie de vivre. An additional Paper Bag Factor reflects whether alcohol can be consumed openly, with bonus points awarded if you don't have to skulk around like a flasher hiding something in your overcoat.
FORMULA:
Paper Bag Factor consists of:
+10 if beer can be bought at a street vendor for open consumption on the street
+5 if beer can be bought at a grocery store for open consumption on the street
-5 if beer can be bought at a grocery store but must be hidden in a paper bag on the street
-10 if beer can only be bought at a specially licensed beer/liquor-only outlet
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2. Signature Carbohydrate Comparison
Every country has a national carbohydrate. For the French it's the croissant; the Dutch have patat frites. In geographically diverse North America, there can even be regional variations: Montreal claims the bagel, while southern Ontario is Donut Land. For the purposes of this index, the Parisian croissant, with an absolute value of 100, is the standard against which all other carbs are measured. Because anyone can make something tasty by larding it, the index will be modified by the Fat Factor. Bonus points will be awarded for the variety of ways the national carbohydrate is served.
FORMULA:
i=1
Qcarbo is the quality of the signature carbohydrate
QPC is the quality of Parisian Croissant (set at 100)
Fat Factor is the grams of fat per serving
Variety bonus consists of one point for each variation of the national carbohydrate
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3. Babe and Hunk Index
Truly civilized places cultivate the sophisticated art of decorating the body with a variety of rich fabrics chosen and tailored to demonstrate taste, social status and sexual desirability. To determine this index we visit four significant intersections and count the number of well-adorned men and women that walk by in a random group of 100 persons. Passers-by don't have to be young and gorgeous to count as hunks and babes, just well attired with a certain sense of style. And because it's always easier to affect a stylish swagger when you're not all scrunched up from the cold, the index incorporates a Seasonal Adjustment Factor.
FORMULA:
Hunks is the number of attractively attired males passing a given intersection
Babes is the number of attractively attired females passing a given intersection
Fs is an adjustment factor to account for seasonal differences in apparel (Spring/Summer Fs=1; Fall Fs=1.25; Winter Fs=1.5)
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4. Street Life Indicator
Civilized places have lively streets and public gathering places. And though the pure minded may object, much of what makes such places attractive is commerce. Cities began as places where people could gather and exchange life's pleasures and necessities on the street and the more civilized cities have maintained this bedrock feature. This index measures the percentage of life's necessities (food, drink, clothing, cultural goods, consumer goods, entertainment and charity) that can be purchased strolling a popular outdoor street or square, without entering a single shop.
FORMULA:
SLi is one of food, drink, clothing, cultural goods, consumer goods, entertainment, charity
SF is an normalization factor set so that necessities sum to 100
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5. Public Order Index
Anarchy is the undoubted enemy of civilization, but over-regimentation is a foe no less fearsome. Civilized places are animated but not riotous, ebullient but not obnoxious, orderly but not ordered. (Paradoxically, the citizenry typically have quite a relaxed attitude towards minor infractions of the rules.) One measure of this is the number of jaywalkers, measured per 200 pedestrians at four intersections. But because jaywalking ceases to be a mark of glorious insouciance if it snarls traffic, we've factored in the Taxi Trip, the speed of a downtown cab ride measured in minutes per kilometre.
FORMULA:
Jaywalkeri is the number of jaywalkers at a given intersection
Ttaxi is the speed in minutes/km of a typical downtown taxi ride
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